Remember Everything
by the-scarlet-butterfly
Summary: Edd is tired... Trigger Warning: Suicide Inspired by "Remember Everything" by Five Finger Death Punch
1. The Deed

**[[Trigger warning: Suicide**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own EEnE or any of its characters.**

 **Enjoy!]**

Edd was tired.

He was tired of never being good enough, despite being top of his class. He was tired of his parents being absent. They'd missed a few too many birthdays. He was tired of being an outsider. He didn't belong anywhere anymore. Not after Eddy turned on him. That leads to another thing he was tired of. Cruelty and fear. All because he came out to his best friends. Ed, of course, didn't mind. But Eddy blew a fuse. He cut all ties with Edd then and there, and spread the news of Edd's sexuality. By morning, the whole school knew. The bullies swarmed like hornets and they were merciless. He grew to actually hate school. There were only three people who were kind to him. One, obviously, was Ed. His kind hearted nature made it impossible for him to leave his best friend. The second was Nazz, who was just generally a good person. The third came as the biggest shock: Kevin. No, they weren't really friends, but Kevin greeted him casually and broke up the beatings now and then. He protected Edd, and it made him feel terribly guilty for feeling the way he did about Kevin. They were feelings he'd hidden for years, knowing it would only end in pain if he said something.

Yes, Edd was very tired. Tired of everything. So he sat down at his desk, pulled out 6 pieces of paper, 6 envelopes and a pen, and he wrote.

 ** _Dear Mother_** ,

I love you. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough. I'm tired of all of this, and I'm tired of being alone. I hope this isn't a _burden_ on you and Father.

 ** _Dear Father_** ,

Forgive me. In your eyes, I know I never added up. In my heart, I know I failed you, but you left me here alone. I'm tired of spending my birthday by myself.

 ** _Dear Eddy_** ,

I suppose you'll be happier with me gone. What you did was horrible and cruel. Even our years of friendship can't fix this. Please forgive me, but I can't forgive you.

 ** _Dear Ed_** ,

Don't hate me. I can no longer be by your side. I truly love you Ed, and I was lucky to have you in my life. Please don't cry. Thank you for everything.

 ** _Dear Nazz,_**

Please understand. I only did what I thought was truly right. I was just too sick of it all. Thank you for all you've done.

He paused and gathered all his courage, then began his final letter.

 ** _Dear Kevin_** ,

I owe you so much. Much more than just this letter, and I'm sorry this is all I can give you. The kindness you showed me was truly wonderful and so generous of you. I don't deserve such kindness, but I thank you none the less. Since this letter is the last I will ever write, and these will be my last words to you, I have something to get off my chest. I know you'll probably be disgusted, and hate me for them, but I've got nothing to lose. I love you Kevin Barr. I have since we were children. Its not just because you're handsome. Despite you being a bit of a bully in middle school, I saw the good in you. The way you treated Nazz and Rolf. You were different. I'm glad I at least got to experience a little of that kindness. It felt like, even if only for a second, you cared about me. Thank you for everything. I'm sorry.

Edd signed each letter with his name and the word "goodbye", and put them in envelopes. He labeled each one, and laid them in a straight line on his bed. He fetched a sturdy rope from the garage, tied a slipknot in one end, and, using his desk chair, tied the other to his ceiling fan. He stepped up on the chair and slipped the noose over his head. With a deep breath, eyes shut and a sad smile on his lips, he kicked the chair over. There was a thud from the weight, a strangled gasp for air, and then near silence. The only sound left in the house was that of a tired beanie clad boy, dangling from the ceiling fan.

[[ **chapter** **two** **is** **probably the last chapter]]**


	2. The Aftermath

**[[Hey guys, Chapter 2! Sorry, I know its short. This is probably the end unless I decide to make it even more depressing.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own EEnE, or any of these characters.**

 **ENJOY!]]**

It had been a week since they found the body across the street. Kevin had been suspended for beating Eddy to a bloody pulp. Now he sat in his room, staring at the letter. He hadn't opened it yet. He hadn't been able to find the strength to. Opening it made it all real. It meant Double Dee was really gone. Nazz had told him to do it, and just get it over with. But that was hard. He stared at it for another 10 minutes, as if expecting it to disappear, and for everything to go back to normal. But it didn't. He knew it wouldn't. With a sigh, he tore open the envelope. He pulled out the neatly written letter, and began to read.

"Dear Kevin..."

He read over the lines when one of them made his breath catch in his throat.

"I love you Kevin Barr."

His chest tightened and his hands curled into fists of frustration. He felt like he was suffocating. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't be real. In his panic, all he could think to do was run.

So he did. He raced out his front door, and down the street, until he reached Nazz's house. He pounded desperately on the door until she answered. He pushed past her into the house, before sinking to the floor in a fit of silent angry tears. "Kev? What's wrong?" She asked.

He tugged hopelessly at his hair, shaking ever so slightly.

"He fucking loved me, Nazz. He loved me back."


End file.
